Blasphemy law experiencing early midlife crisis

Blasphemy law experiencing early midlife crisis

ISLAMABAD – Having already filed cases over being harassed and violated, Sections 295-B and C of the Pakistan Penal Code (PPC), commonly referred to as the blasphemy law, is now confessing to experiencing a midlife crisis.

In an exclusive interview with Khabaristan Times the 35-year-old Blasphemy Law, whose parents Section 295 and 295-A were born in 1860 and 1929 in united India, shared what it feels to experience the midlife crisis earlier than one might have expected of a provision with so much inertial value.

“At first I thought it was just an identity crisis,” began the blasphemy law. “I’d spent most of my life bullying religious minorities and liberal, progressive, secular Muslims. All of a sudden I was being bullied into going after believing, practicing Muslims,” it added.

The blasphemy law admitted that while conventional Muslims have occasionally been its victims as well, it had never been used so systematically against so many people in the past.

“The sheer volume got me,” it continued. “All of a sudden I started questioning my existence, my purpose, I would ask myself regularly, ‘who the hell are you?’ – all symptoms of an early midlife crisis.”

When asked if the blasphemy law felt half its life was up, considering it was calling it a midlife crisis, 295-B and C wasn’t quite sure.

“That’s a tough call isn’t it?” it said. “Some would argue that my death is necessary for the state to continue living, and for the health of the Penal Code and Constitution that I’m a part of. But the way I’ve been used since the turn of the year, I feel healthier than ever and might continue for a long time.”

“I mean when you’re being used over differences that aren’t even religious and against many people that carry Islam in their hearts, you’re not going anywhere, are you?” it concluded.

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