LAHORE-After repeatedly turning down his gym instructor’s directives to limit carb intake, the prime minister has claimed immunity from carbs.
In an application filed on Saturday by the prime minister’s legal team, immunity was claimed from carbs, rendering all directives relating to their intake null and void since the prime minister took office since June, 2013.
The original directive, to limit carbohydrate intake in general and completely eliminate it after six o’clock in the evening, was first accepted by the prime minister’s office and there were attempts at compliance. Failure at compliance, however, has resulted in the current strategy.
“We have made clear that carbohydrates do not affect the prime minister’s body and do not play any mitigating role in the First Metabolism,” said Akram Sheikh.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what this supposed law says,” said gym instructor Saleem “Folaad” Khan, while the prime minister was panting on a bench behind him. “If he does not watch what he God Damn eats, there is nothing that is going to come out of this.”
“Now give me 10 push-ups immediately!” he shot at the prime minister.
Till the filing of this report, the prime minister was crying.
A version of the piece was published in Khabaristan Today