Wife can ‘lightly kick’ husband’s b*lls in self-defense, impartial CII suggests

Wife can ‘lightly kick’ husband’s b*lls in self-defense, impartial CII suggests

ISLAMABAD: The recently proposed points by Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) on Women Protection Bill have created uproar on social media following suggestions that a husband can “lightly beat” his wife. But few points in wives’ favour have completely been missed by the media. Maulana Sheerani contacted Khabaristan Times and cleared his feminist position.

Here is the list of missed points which have been given to Khabaristan Times by Maulana Sheerani.

(i) Wife can lightly kick husband’s balls.

“When a husband crosses his limit of lightly beating the wife, she can kick his balls in defense. It should be noted here that the intensity of kick should not be hard enough to take the husband’s life.”

(ii) Husband cannot have circumcision without wife’s approval.

“Equating with a point where a woman cannot use contraception without the husband’s approval, CII balances it out by saying that parents would not circumcise their children in early age. It would be the right of a wife to decide whether male should be circumcised or not.”

(iii) Masturbation will be considered a murder.

“As abortion will be considered murder after 120 days, masturbation will also be classified as murder because both take lives. For making this effective, Maulana Sheerani will himself design and install a chip in males’ bodies which would help us track who is masturbating.”

(iv) Men should not be advertised in condom ads.

“Upholding CII impartial credibility, males would be banned to star in condom ads. Instead, chimpanzees can be used for this purpose because they share 90 per cent human DNA and organs.”

Maulana Sheerani labeled mainstream media as “misogynistic” for purposely ignoring abovementioned points. He also certified Khabaristan Times a “Halal Media” for maintaining the spirit of true journalism.

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  • Oldcrocker

    They should kick them in the balls as hard as they can!

  • Oldcrocker

    And you’re not going to tell me that THEY have never masturbated! Or are they so old they can’t remember?

  • Hage summane

    Masterbating is like killing millions of babies and must be banned!!!!!

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