Pakistan name three ‘pitch-grazing’ goats in 15-man squad for second Test against New Zealand

Pakistan name three ‘pitch-grazing’ goats in 15-man squad for second Test against New Zealand

HAMILTON – Following a convincing defeat against New Zealand in the first Test match at Christchurch, Pakistan have named three goats in the 15-man squad for the second Test at Hamilton starting tomorrow.

The announcement comes after Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) held a high-level security meeting following the first Test to weigh options, methods and means with the team management in New Zealand to avoid defeat in the last game of the two-match series.

While talking to Khabaristan Times, one of the senior PCB officials said all possible options were explored. “From Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible 2 glasses, which would give the swing directions of the ball beforehand, to leather magnet bats which would attract ball towards the middle of the bat, we discussed everything,” he said.

“Finally we decided to send pitch-grazing goats, specially trained in the National Cricket Academy, to New Zealand. These goats have been trained to eat the grass from the pitch before the match and transform them into something resembling the UAE decks,” he added.

The PCB official also confirmed that the board will introduce new ‘micro size’ goats in future tours. “It might be too soon for next month’s Australia tour, but the micro goats should be ready in time for our next tour outside Asia.”

The official confirmed that these micro-goats, which are designed to not only eat all the grass but also extract moisture out of the turf, are being prepared in the ongoing IDEAS 2016. “This way we are supporting cricket and our defence industry as well.”

According to the team management the three goats arrived on Thursday despite having left on Tuesday because of the absence of direct flights from Pakistan to New Zealand.

Insiders reveal that at least two goats are expected to be in the starting 11 tomorrow. “One of them would come in place of captain Misbah-ul-Haq, who has been suspended over slow over-rate. While the other would be a like-for-like swap with Sami Aslam,” a team official confirmed.

The official also allayed growing fears and confirmed that none of the new additions to the team is Shahid Afridi in goat’s clothing, as the former captain remains hopeful of a comeback.

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