Secret documents implicate atheists in the 9/11 attacks as well
Riyadh: In an epoch-defining announcement Saudi Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdulaziz al-Sheikh revealed the allegiance of ISIS Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi to atheist Richard Dawkins, in today’s Hajj Khutba. The announcement comes after top secret documents were retrieved by Saudi Intelligence implicating atheists in the 9/11 attacks, sources informed Khabaristan Times.
This revelation, in turn, comes on the heels of Saudi law now considering atheists and political protestors as terrorists.
The news caused panic across the Kingdom as atheist worship places and community centers were shut down by force. Prominent atheists across the globe have condemned this barbaric action taken by the Saudi government.
A Twitter trend #CondemnKSA has been doing the rounds for a day now. Members of the Shia community in Saudi Arabia have breathed a collective sigh of relief, reducing the temperature of the KSA’s eastern province.
After the Grand Mufti revealed that Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of ISIS band fame is a closet Dawkins fan, the author of atheists’ holy book The God Delusion released a homophobic response on Twitter that was later deleted.
Twitter warriors from ISIS have released a video clarifying that Caliph Baghdadi was not a Dawkins fan, he considers following Dawkins to be Bidah and only considers Neil deGrasse Tyson as the true and rightful guide to this world.
Republican candidate Donald Trump, meanwhile, has promised to extradite both Dawkins and Neil deGrasse Tyson if he is elected President.