ISIS claims responsibility for Donald Trump

ISIS claims responsibility for Donald Trump

Says he’s a slowly ticking time bomb

Baghdad: Clearly underscoring its frightening reach all the way to Washington, the Islamic State (IS), popularly known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) has claimed responsibility for Republican presidential candidate for 2016 Donald Trump. This blatant attack on America bursts the myth that ISIS is limited to the Middle East and doesn’t have access to the US.

“We take complete responsibility for Donald Trump,” ISIS caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi said in an exclusive interview with Khabaristan Times. “This is the biggest attack that we have executed outside the Middle East or South Asia,” he added.

Baghdadi’s announcement comes after Trump was being lambasted by the global media for his ‘shocking’ response to a question in a Trump campaign rally in Rochester, New Hampshire. The question asked was: “When can we get rid of all the Muslims in America?”

“It is safe to say that no one has brought a bad name to so-called Muslims like we have,” Baghdadi said. “Trump is clearly following our anti-Muslim instructions,” he added.

“Only after these non-violent so-called Muslims are eliminated from America, would we, the true Muslims, be able to infiltrate the US.”

The ISIS chief however expressed his surprise that no one had seen through their manoeuvre that is now ‘quite a few months old’.

“Trump, like ISIS, is against vaccinations and immigrants. He manifests supremacism as well. It’s amazing that no one has seen through the façade,” he said.

Dubbing Trump a ‘slowly ticking time bomb that would explode in 2016’, Baghdadi outlined his plans for the US.

“Trump is our khalifa for the American continents. He shall inshallah impose Shariah law in America,” he said. “We couldn’t have found anyone better to establish the totalitarian, narrow and bigoted ideology and jurisprudence of ISIS.”

 

  • Khabirstan Post

    According to some Pakistani liberal/secular sources, the Mooslimes have long infiltrated the white house. Can the US correspondent keep an eye on Huma Abedin, the aide to Hillary Clinton? My guess is she is the Mosslime ISIS sent to infiltrate the white house (she is married to a Zionist as a cover). My inside source also said she wears her burkha only when she is back home in Saudi. Looks like ISIS has successfully won the first place and second place for the US presidential election by having Caliph Trumph and Caliph Huma on top.

    • John Mangan

      The article is brilliant. However, your posting, if it’s an attempt at humour or satire, is a massive fail. If you believe this crap, you are.

    • Diane Moffatt

      Women have got to wear head coverings in SA – it’s the law you fool.

  • Rabblerouser666

    Hahahahaha

  • MummifiedInBarbedWire

    Go fuck a sheep

  • dented ego

    hahaha LOL Keep trying!!!

  • Melissa Stewart Hancock

    Ok y’all, it should be obvious by now that he’s just a plant to distract voters. Nobody would be THAT nasty and divisive on national tv deliberately, and actually expect to win the presidency. This guy has been in the public eye for decades and has never been this irritating. He’s also made plenty of anti GOP statements over the years, and he’s for big government. But the most damning evidence is how Hillary has just kicked back, put her feet up and let this whole thing play out like she knows it’s just an act… it’s classic divide and conquer. Trump is separating the far right from the moderates, to get them fighting amongst themselves. He won’t get the nomination, and the far right will do what they did in 2008 and abandon the GOP at the polls because they don’t feel like they are represented by anyone with a spine. It’s pretty smart. Dirty, but smart.

    • tsnixon

      Who planted him? This is quite a theory. Maybe a simpler explanation is people are scared, and absolute solutions sound better than mucky reality.

      • Imain Dipandant

        scared? A US citizen marries a Pakistani terrorist and kills 14 people. That is terrible. However, in stark contrast, our government turns its back on 30,000 deaths per year from gun violence. Interest seems disproportionate don’t you think?

        • tsnixon

          You’re just saying something I agree with – I agree that is a terrible byproduct of policy and should be changed. So I don’t know what your point is

          • Imain Dipandant

            people want more action to be put in place for a much less evil act.

      • burttthebike

        It’s the Manchurian Candidate all over again.

    • 47er

      This is a Pakistani satire site….

  • Snooze

    (applauseclapclapclapwhistleclapclap)
    (salutes)
    I LOVE you people!!!

  • سارا مزمل

    I think I’m in love with whoever runs this website. ?

  • Stranger Things Have Happened

    lol

  • ironhide

    this news article is a fake one right?

    • burttthebike

      It might be. But it also might not be. However, even if it was fake, it would still be more true than most of the stuff coming out of Trump’s mouth.

    • 47er

      This is a satirical website from Pakistan.

  • Milanmat

    I think most of the media, lobbyists, spin doctors, promoters, meddling corporations managements are ignoring another obvious reason why Trump is in lead. It is because other GOP candidates are even worse option and people are fed up with the game, lying corrupted politicians so openly in the bed with big business. Hilary Clinton is also clearly worse options if it comes to decision in between Trump and bloodthirsty lying war monger HRC.
    It would be interesting to see if there can be a bigger disaster in White House than George Bush.
    Time to change the slogan God Bless America to God Save America.

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